The Pros and Cons of DSL and Cable Internet Services

If you are planning on switching to high-speed internet, you will have to choose between going with a cable or DSL connection. Although both have their pros and their cons, you may want to consider a few things because choosing either of the two.

Speed ​​is more than likely the most important aspect of your internet experience. Cable hook up speeds are generally quite a bit faster than DSL hook up speeds. DSL typically offers speeds of up to approximately 10 Mbps, whereas cable services can provide their customers with speeds of up to 50 and 60 Mbps. Most of the cable services are looking to increase those speeds over the next coming years.

As far as interruption to your connection speeds goes, both cable and DSL can not constantly guarantee perfect service. DSL is a distance-sensitive service that gets its connection through your home phone connection. This means that the farther away you are from this central location, the more likely it is for you to loose your connection. The amount of traffic that goes through your connection will also have an impact on your connection. If there is a lot of traffic at one time, the speed of your connection will certainly decrease.

Online security is also a very important factor that plays into your internet selection. With DSL, you have your own personal line, so they tend to be highly secure and safe. With cable, however, you will be sharing a connection with others in your area, so you run the risk of a less secure connection. As long as you take full advantage of computer security systems, however, you will more than likely be just fine.

Source by Jonathan Wickham

Lesbians Falling For Straight Women

Many Lesbians have experienced the predicament of having romantic feelings for a straight woman. If you are a Lesbian and find yourself infatuated with a straight woman, better yet a married woman, tell yourself WHOA!

Let's paint a hypothetical scenario with a married woman. You have an emotional connection and a physical attraction for a married woman; however, there has not been any "real" indication that she is attracted to you. To continue on with the scenario, she is having major relationship issues with her husband and has been confiding with you. You are hearing some very intimate details and feeling her sadness, anger, confusion, and a bunch of other emotions. She is trying to decide what to do: divorce, counseling, separation. The two of you meet regularly for lunch a couple of times per week. You want to help her, rescue her from her awful marriage, and make her feel happy again. Take Heed: Although she may be in the process of getting a divorce or separating from her husband, that does not mean she will leave the "hetero" team.

It may not be so unusual for a Lesbian to have feelings for a straight woman. However, the actions taken (ie express feelings or not) determine everything. Acting on your feelings could be disastrous to the friendship.

First, people do not arbitrarily switch and vacillate between being heterosexual and homosexual. Even if someone did, heartbreak would surely ensue. Remember that old adage: You can not be something you are not.

Second, based on the "married woman scenario", ending a marriage is very disruptive to one's established world. The person needs space, time, support and less confusion. If you confess your love to this woman at this time, you will be sorely disappointed with her reaction. Although YOU may be ready to progress the relationship to another level, she probably is not.

Third, straight women are not accustomed to dealing with another woman's affectionate interests; they do not view other women as potential lovers. They seek female friendships to have confidants and companions to do stuff with. They size-up other women based on appearance, jobs, parenting, marital status, hobbies and interests, neighborhoods, church and community involvement … not on sexual or romantic interest.

I was married; however, I suspected there was something "not straight" about me! When I finally realized that I had been denying my sexuality, only then did I feel compelled to do something. I actually made the first move on my soon-to-be girlfriend. Let me emphasize this point: I first was certain (actually fairly certain) that I was Gay before I would kiss the girl.

If you find yourself in this situation and you are bound and determined to find out whether your lady friend has any inclination on having a romantic relationship with you, consider using a disguised approach. Initiate a conversation based on the "hypothetically, if you were Gay" theme. She may tell you, without being awkward, that she is not Gay. Then, what's the point in pursuing her.

Regardless, you may still feel compelled to throw it out there to see what happens. If you tell her that you are attracted to her and she is not prepared for this confession nor is she interested, then the awkwardness and the "elephant in the room" will be felt and exist between the two of you probably forever. Be prepared for anything, including fewer lunch dates and having an awkward friendship.

Straight women are just that … Straight. You can not change them!

Source by Gayl M Newton

Is It Possible That We've Been Separated Too Long To Reconcile?

Most of the time, spouses who are reluctant to separate in the first place hope that the separation is over as quickly as is possible. Often, they fear that the longer the separation goes on, the less of a chance there is that they can save their marriage.

I heard from a wife who said: "my husband and I have been separated for almost nine months. At first, it was just supposed to be a brief trial separation. He said he just needed some time to sort out his feelings. He said he wanted some peace and quiet for himself. I did not think that this would last for very long. I figured that the worst case scenario was him being gone for a month or maybe two. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that almost three quarters of a year would go by and we will would not be back together. Some friends of mine told me that the separation has gone on for so long that it is time for me to face reality. They say that the length of the time is too long and that it means my marriage is over. Are they right? " I will tell you my opinion on this below.

Why There Is No Deadline For Getting Back Together: Admittedly, the longer the two of you are separated, the more discouraging this can be. After all, things often become more and more awkward. As a result, you can start to wonder if the long separation just indicates that there is no hope left. However, I have known of many couples who reconciled many months or even years after their separation started. Admittedly, this is not the norm. But it does happen. I know because it happened for me. And often when it happens it is because someone has made a deliberate and valiant effort to hold onto their marriage. Below, I'll offer some suggestions on how to do this.

Make Sure That You Do not Become Complacent And Allow The Distance To Become Both Literal And Figurative: One of the main reasons that the passage of time is such a threat during a separation is because the passage of time causes doubt and awkwardness. One or both people begin to wonder why their spouse is not reaching out more and, because they fear rejection, they may back off also.

And before you know it, a good chunk of time has gone by without any interaction. And then one day leads to another and eventually you are looking at weeks or even months since you've spoken to or seen your spouse. You want to avoid this if at all possible. Even if things are uncertain or awkward, you still want to keep the lines of communication open. Sure, things might be so awkward that all you can manage is a weekly cup of coffee together. This is certainly better than nothing and if you can see it up so that your time together is pleasant and that you both come to expect or look forward to this time, then that is something on which you can build.

But it is better to have regular and awkward or tense conversations and meetings than none at all. You do not want to let too much go by without any communication at all. If this is the case in your situation, then it can make sense to take the initiative to try to change this. Yes, you may feel vulnerable and like you are risking rejection. But keep things very simple and light hearted. Your goal is not to save your marriage in one meeting or even a series of meetings. Your real goal is just to begin to improve your interactions, even if it is only a little bit. You already know that this is going to be a gradual process. But if you can get your relationship back onto the road of something regular, even if it is just casual and short meetings or communications, then this is something that is worth doing.

There Is No Expiration Date On Your Marriage : People often think that if too much time passes, their spouse is eventually going to forget about them or their marriage. Or, they fear that their spouse may meet someone else. These things do sometimes happen, but they are also only temporary sometimes. People get back together and reconcile all of the time. There's no expiration date on your marriage or any period of time where you have reached the point of no return. Of course it is in your best interest to try to keep things positive and to try to improve things so that a reconciliation happens sooner rather than later.

Source by Leslie Cane

10 Tips On How To Judge Your Readiness For Marriage

Marriage is an exciting step in most people's lives, and with it comes both great joy and great responsibility. There are ten questions every couple should ask themselves before getting married to determine whether or not they are really ready to take this step.

1. Why do you want to get married? Some may want to get married for financial security or to avoid loneliness, due to an unexpected pregnancy, or to start a family. Others may choose to get married simply because they love one another. Neither financial nor emotional security is a good reason for marriage, and love alone will not keep a marriage alive for decade after decade.

2. Is your partner trustworthy? Are you? A strong marriage requires a great deal of trust from both parties. Partners must be able to trust one another with the finances, to help with the chores, to parent cooperatively (if children are involved), and – of course – not to cheat. If either partner has a history of violating the trust of the other or even breaking the trust of a former partner, it could lay a foundation for future trust issues in the marriage.

3. Is the past in the past … and have you both learned from it? Past relationships, past mistakes, and even childhood grief and family traumas can haunt people into their adulthood. If these issues are not properly faced and appropriately dealt with, they could emerge at a later date and create disharmony in the marriage.

4. Are you planning a wedding or a marriage? Women in particular, but men too, often become so preoccupied with planning the wedding they may forget that a marriage comes after the wedding and lasts (ideally) far longer. A couple can work towards the wedding they want, but it is important that they not forget the marriage they need.

5. Are you feeling social pressure to get married or settle down? Parents and grandparents may pressure a young couple to settle down, and as their friends and siblings all begin to pair off and get engaged or married, it can seem like the natural next step for them, too. Societal pressure, however, is never a good reason to get engaged or married.

6. Do you share similar goals for your lives? Common wisdom tells couples that "opposites attract," but science shows that compatible couples have more staying power. A couple need not share all the same interests, but if they share common goals for their lives and have similar ideals, they have a better chance of making it long-term than couples who have less in common.

7. How do you handle conflict? Fighting fairly is a critical component of happy couples. If a couple is unable to fight without name-calling, sarcasm, or bitter accusations, they probably should not discuss marriage just yet.

8. Are your finances in order? It is not a romantic question, but it is an important one. Money, or the lack of money, can be a cause of conflict in even the happiest marriages. Having not just similar financial goals and beliefs but also having their finances in order can keep a couple on the right track when it comes to their relationship. Pay off any debt and start saving before sliding those rings on.

9. Is your education on track, or better yet, completed? Again, this may not be a romantic question, but once a couple is married, it can be very difficult to complete an educational goal, particularly if it is simply a high school diploma or an undergraduate degree. It can take a great deal of dedication from both parties in order for one to graduate. If both are not fully committed to the goal, then the marriage should be delayed until the couples' educations are completed.

10. Do you like, as well as love, one another? Not just love. Like. It is "like" that gets a couple through the hard days, and it is the friendship that keeps a couple together long-term. It is the love that stokes the fires of passion and keeps the sexual energy high. A marriage can not survive happily long term without both "like" and "love" burning brightly.

Source by Jack Medlin

Top 7 Reasons For Divorce – Why Married Couples Break Up

A frightening fact: divorce rates have been steadily increasing since the time it was legalized. In the old days, divorce would require a spouse to present evidence showing their partner was at fault during marriage – then and only then would the divorce be allowed. But now, the system has changed and divorce can easily be filed without proof of fault from the other party.

An even more frightening fact: many couples today demand a divorce based on "unimportant" if not "trivial" reasons. Read on to find out what these are and try to steer clear of them unless you wish to be part of the rising divorce statistics today.

1. Nagging -Spouses who nag will eventually drive their partners to the end of their ropes, something that will inevitably lead to divorce.

2. Long-distance relationships – couples who spend too much time apart are bound to drift off with their intimacy and romance, and often their fidelity.

3. Lack of appreciation – this may be a small item but showing appreciation for your spouse can take a marriage a long way.

4. Money matters -there should always be transparency when it comes to finances and purchases. Spend within your means as a couple and avoid hiding purchases from your partner.

5. Spilling the beans -when a spouse starts telling relatives, or even close friends, about things that should have been kept between the two of you, trust is broken. This could lead to more issues and problems in the future.

6. Unattractiveness – this is one of the many mistakes wives make. If you looked great and gorgeous while you were still single, stay that way after marriage. Always give your husband a reason to stick with you and you alone!

7. Sex life – sex is a must in every marriage. It keeps the fire burning and the passion alive. A dull sex life will eventually lead spouses to extramarital affairs and, eventually, divorce.

Marriage is not all about grand gestures but the little things you do for your spouse. It is living the daily life, doing household chores, saying "thank you" when needed. As little as they may seem, small gestures can take your marriage a long, long way.

Source by Sandra Julie

He Does not Want a Relationship! Here Is Some Bitter But Truthful Advice for You

I am sure you have been sitting there in deep thought trying to figure out how you can get your man to finally have a relationship with you.

But so far, I am guessing you have not had much luck right? Let me start off with some bitter truth for you – Almost every man out there who says he does not want a relationship will actually get into a relationship at some point in his life. That's a guarantee.

But the person he will be into a relationship with may or may not be you. You see when a guy says that he does not want a relationship what he is indirectly saying is that he does not want a relationship with you. Let's discuss this in a bit more detail …

If he wants a relationship with you, there would not be any excuses …

If he has a clear mind and really wants a relationship with you then no excuse in the world will be big enough to stop him. And at the same time if he is unclear and is not sure about whether he really wants a relationship with you or not then every excuse will seem really big.

When a guy starts looking for more excuses on to be with you instead of looking for reasons to be with you then its really obvious that he does not want a relationship with you.

But what if he changes his mind?

Well, we have already established that if a guy really wants to be with you, he will not make any excuses.

But I am sure now you are wondering, well what if he finally changes his mind and is ready for a relationship? Well I would like to ask you – When do you feel that time would come?

If he is not ready for it right now, when do you feel he is ever going to be ready? And at the same time how long are you actually willing to wait? How long are you willing to handle the confusion, pain and frustration of not knowing when he is going to finally make up his mind?

If things are not getting better, they 're only getting worse …

In the process of thinking that maybe he might change his mind some day many women just stick around anyway and let things run the way they are running.

But do you know what actually happens in the process? Things actually end up getting worse. When you want a relationship but he does not, you have two people with completely different goals. Therefore you will push him towards your goal and he will try to push you towards his. And in the process you will only experience more arguments, disagreements and frustration. Eventually you will realize that he is not going to change his mind and is always going to be confused about you.

And that would be the time when you will feel the need to let him go.

Always remember that …

You can not change his mind, or persuade him into wanting a relationship with you …

And the sooner you get this the better it's going to be for you. Do not sit around thinking that some day you will be able to convince him to want a relationship with you. If he is scared of a relationship right now, what makes you say that he will be less scared in the future?

You can not make him want a relationship and at the same time you can not convince or persuade him either. It just will not work, and the harder you will try, the more distant he will get from you.

So what do I do now?

So what can you do? Do you really have two many options? Here are two things you can do –

– Stick around and hope he will change his mind.


– Let him go on good terms.

I would suggest that it will be better to let him go momentarily. Because if he really wants you; then he will come back for sure.

But if he does not, then you were with the wrong person to begin with. Always remember – There is another person out there who will be more than happy to be with you. So go find that person instead of wasting the precious moments of your life waiting for someone who does not even want a relationship.

Points to remember –

– If he does not want a relationship then he is indirectly saying that he does not want a relationship with you. He is not saying he does not want a relationship at all because some day he will be in a relationship with someone else for sure.

– Do not wait for him to change his mind about you, if he has not made up his mind already, what is he really waiting for?

– Cut him off and let him miss you. Let him know that you are not going to sit around and wait for him if he is not ready for a relationship. If he can not make up his mind about you, then let him know that you can not make up your mind about him either.

Source by Scarlet Hall

Relationship Tips – How to Hang on to Your Guy Forever

So maybe your relationship is not everything you thought or hoped it would be. Maybe it's a complete disaster. Maybe it's doing just fine, but needs a little spark. Or maybe your relationship is an extremely happy one and you want it to stay that way. Whatever the status of your relationship, I'm sure the following article will certainly make you stop and think.

It's easy to blame any defects in your relationship on your man. And in reality, most of the imperfections in your relationship probably are his fault. Yes, you heard that right – and that's an opinion coming from another guy. I spent 20 years in the domestic court system and watched hundreds of couples go through painful, bitter divorces. In just about every case, I have to say that I agreed with the wife. Of course, I do not know what kinds of things the wife may have done in the years leading up to the divorce that may have pushed the guy to the level he reached. Had I known the whole story, maybe my opinion would have changed. But regardless of who's at fault, placing all the blame on him, nagging, and constantly trying to change him probably is not going to solve much of anything and will most likely result in a break-up. So with that thought in mind, what can you do? Here are a few suggestions to a stronger, healthier bond.

Make your lover the most important thing in your life. I know, life is tough, it's stressful, and many women rank the needs of their children, family, friends, and maybe even their career ahead of their man. Move him to the top of the list. Make time for him every single day. Ask him about his job, his day. Let him be the focus of your attention even for a few minutes. Putting the focus on him will lift his spirits and in turn yours.

Do not take him for granted. Believe it or not, there are lots of things he does for you every day that you've probably stopped noticing. Tell him you appreciate everything he does for you. I promise you, he'll notice and he'll try even harder to make you happy if he gets a heartfelt "thank you" in return.

Keep the fire burning. Maybe he's not quite the hunk he could be, but he needs affection just as much as you. Tell him you love him every day. Try an occasional compliment. Make tonight's dinner a romantic encounter. Get a bottle of wine, candles, put on his favorite dress, of course cook his favorite dish, and make what is otherwise just another meal something special.

This one you may not like, but here goes. Take pride in your appearance. Eat right, exercise, put special emphasis on your hair and makeup. Too many couples have thrown in the towel on their appearance and, along with it, their health and the respect of their partner. If you've gained a few pounds, stop putting it off, work on that immediately. If you take pride in yourself and commit to a healthy lifestyle, I promise you every other area of ​​your life will suddenly improve, including your love life. You'll gain immediate respect not only from your significant other, but from friends and coworkers. Do not fall for the lame excuse that just because you're married or in a relationship you can "relax" and not worry so much about your appearance. What does that kind of attitude say to your mate? If you're really in love and want to hang on to your guy, it's more important now than ever.

Guys need time for themselves and to be with friends. If you've discouraged him in the past from spending time with his buddies doing "guy things," do a turnabout and instead encourage him to go. You'll gain his immediate respect, and chances are he'll instead choose to spend more time with you. There's nothing wrong with a little reverse psychology. Now, when I say "guy things," I'm not talking about hanging out in the bars, but let him go play golf, go fishing, whatever his passion may be, and he'll be a much happier man and, thus , a much better husband.

Once a week, go out together, just the two of you, on a "date night." Wow him with your appearance. Go all out, remind him of why he fell for you in the first place. And make it a romantic date, perhaps a romantic dinner and drinks. I'm not talking fast food and a movie. Too many couples get stuck going to yet another movie. Keep the focus on each other.

These are just a few simple suggestions that might make all the difference. Give them a try. What do you have to lose? Remember, if he's happier, you'll be happier.

Source by Marc Elliott

Employee Recognition Programs

Employee recognition is vital for performance-oriented companies that look for mobilizing all employees and stakeholders, prominently dealers and distributors, in the direction of clear business objectives ascertained by sales, profits, customer satisfaction, and productivity. Such performance driven companies need to regularly communicate and strengthen their dynamic aims. Nevertheless, recognition for such organizations goes beyond the conventional character of service awards. In spite of the fact that recognition and incentive seem interchangeable, the two terms should not be confused with one another. While the recognition includes all the means that draw attention to employees who perform, the incentives usually employ discerning means to persuade people to accomplish a particular objective like increasing sales. Recognition can be impromptu, indeed to the level that there is no ceremonial announcement that the organization has a recognition program, while the incentives are well known so as to build enthusiasm through material reward. The true beauty of the recognition programs based on performance is their nature of surprise that is in contrast to service-award programs that make necessary ceremonies holding on a routine basis. In this way the employees would be much more interested in performing better rather than just concentrating on the reward.

Employee recognition domain has become to gain recognition among organizations as they begin to judge the impact of downsizing on long-term productivity, profits, and the quality of products and services. Previously, employee recognition meant service awards, wherein recognition of their service years in a company people got an intensifying series of awards accompanying a mention in the employee newsletter, while staying until retirement, they might get a gold watch. From time to time, companies expanded these programs to comprise recognition for diverse actions like superlative customer service; nevertheless often these were limited to rewarding nature.

In the present era, no one just simply depends on the incentives and reward system, rather in a downsized company; employees would ridicule a service award if there were one. Thus, with more understanding of the employees' needs, companies are becoming more proactive when it comes to the employee recognition. While the effective recognition include activities like day-to-day, informal, and formal. For example, commendation is an illustration of day-to-day recognition that costs nothing and can be given by any person, to anyone anytime. While the form of informal recognition can take a diversity of forms, it has certain limitations and oftentimes contains a low-cost, material beckoning of appreciation or congratulations, the formal recognition includes awards for achievements, service, etc., and the celebration episodes at which all contributing employees take part and get recognition. However, a formal recognition customarily has inevitable policy and legal requirements.

In "1001 Ways to Reward Employees" and the "1001 Ways to Energize Employees", Bob Nelson and suggests the significance of awards and recognition and the reason that they are essential tool of employee motivation, team building and productivity. According to Nelson, the American organizations did not always identify or accept this, as for a much longer time corporate America thought that high salaries, cash bonuses and good employee benefits were all that was needed to motivate their employees. While these factors do in an effective way provide a form of short-term motivation, however, much research finding points out that money is not an effective long-term motivational tool. Before 1954, what termed corporate motivation was the formula of Frederick W. Taylor that encapsulates that money was the primary motivator for all performance. Contrary to this scientific management formula, in the Hierarchy of Needs Abraham Maslow in 1950's denied this scientific management and originated that individuals were not machines as they in truth have various levels of motivational contentment that need to be appeased to a certain degree. Form this theory it becomes apparent that contentment on top of that degree could be better consummated by using other less expensive and increasingly effectual forms of reward.

In the 1995 issue of "Employee Relations Today", Professor Kenneth Kovach reported that his most recent research proved the two most referred to factors of motivation by employees were not salary and benefits, but more or less, an interesting job and recognition for doing that job well. Frederick Herzberg also identified this importance of recognition by the employer in his finding that employee accomplishment and recognition are two motivating factors inherent to the job environment. Furthermore, he asserted that the job satisfaction is contingent on these factors over and above anything. Thus a well planned recognition program can, lessen turnover, assist in retaining competent people and elevate pride and loyalty in the company, which not only improves performance but also brings about positive attitudes and raise a productive and perpetual work environment.

The programs that are meant to serve the purpose of recognizing employees 'efforts must be designed in a manner that not just satisfies the importance of employees' recognition, but also take into consideration the workforce diversity. Another thing is the involvement of the employees in this program downright the grassroots level. Once designed, it is the responsibility of the management to evaluate the existing program and make changes whenever and wherever feasible. Giving lapel pins or corporate logo jewelry where the employees already possess them would not create much of the sensation or motivation. Kovach (1995) accentuates that there definitely is a gap that exists between employee needs and employer's understanding of those needs. This gap is widened as the management overlooks the differences in corporate culture and the consequent contrariety in personal tastes evident in distinct departments within an organization or at dormitories strewn across expansively "different demographic, psychographic and geographic areas". Current research corroborates that a selection "program targeted at the employee's lifestyle is the most appreciated and cost effective approach. The awards should be something that the employee wants, needs and will use and cherish. It should be something special to the recipient. People never forget who gave them something of personal value, nor do they ever forget why it was given.

The problem is that many recognition programs do not offer awards that employees really want. There is no validity in benchmarking the most popular items in most existing programs because the selections are often obsolete. The most expensive award you can give someone is something they did not want in the first place, have no use for and will not use "(Nicastro, 2002). Accordingly, Nicastro (2002) further researches in to the subject and narrates that the things that are considered practically accepted with today's employees are "electronics, fashion jewelry, brand name timepieces and watches, collectibles, sporting goods and lifestyle targeted gifts. The most appreciated awards are items that the recipient would like to own, but has not or can not justify buying for themselves ". Nicastro (2002) further investigates that in a study of 3000 service recognition programs, it was found out that the awards that are most adored are when they are given on or near the employee's employment anniversary date. The study also revealed that the "most common complaints by employees is that their anniversary came and went without any recognition. Whenever possible awards should be presented in front of peers, with someone from administration, who is known, recognized and respected making the presentation. This does not mean you need to have an awards banquet; a small departmental ceremony with cake and coffee can be just as effective. Recognize the achievement, talk about the recipients accomplishments, contributions to the company and a short work related anecdote. Make the recipient and the accomplishment special. It's the timeliness, the respect and the special recognition that makes a lasting impression ".

In the article, "Consultant Dispels Myths About Award Programs", Bob Nelson (2001) further elucidates most of recognition programs are outmoded. This Nelson references to the 10-year national study, the Independent National Study of Recognition Policies and Practices, by Perspectives Resources, Inc. This study finds out that the outmoded factors of recognition de motivates rather than motivates the employees as they no longer meet the employees needs and the corporate objectives. "Companies are spending more than $ 500 million annually on service award programs that do not work," says Edward L. Ford, recognition consultant, "and minor changes will not address the problems. At the same time, with all the downsizing and change taking place in business today, recognition is more important to the morale of employees than ever. It is imperative that companies take a fresh look at what constitutes effective recognition – including what the needs of the award recipient are. " Giving insights in to the less important award program as compared to reward program, Nelson assets that organizations are haunted by myths that were prevalent in 60's and 70's. The first one that he points out is that "Logo emblems of gold and diamonds make the best award". Where for the myth he gives that the "Corporate emblems are outdated, and 95.8 percent of employees would rather have practical merchandise items as awards".

The reason that he points out is that employees are used to these service awards and that these have little bearing as to the impact of the awards. Secondly, with the downsizing culture, employees in this era do not possess any corporate identity, which further yields it insignificant. In a study, that based on the Employee Needs and Wants Recognition Index (ENRI) only 4.2% of employees choose logo jewelry over merchandise for awards. The second myth highlighted is "Recognition programs incorporate award choices that employees really want", wherefore, the fact is, "According to the ENRI, 70 percent of employees would choose something other than what they are offered". The third myth outlined goes as "A simple change in selection or awards will substantially improve your recognition program", where the fact "To address employees' changing attitudes, more and more companies are reengineering their recognition policies". Nelson suggests that the reengineering process actually do help companies salvage money "rather than spend more on recognition, while allowing them to provide awards that employees really want. For example, 117 companies that re-engineered their programs during 1994 and 1995 saved an average of 42.9 percent on their programs, and their average award cost per employee per year dropped from $ 17.66 before reengineering to $ 9.21 afterwards. " The fourth myth is "Companies should reduce or eliminate years of service awards", where as the fact is "Companies should not cut programs at random. Instead, they need to make all recognition programs more effective by aligning them with shifting employee attitudes and updating them annually ". Nelson asserts that the companies must first "identify which types of awards are most appropriate in your present corporate culture. Employees may like the types or recognition your program offers. Their dissatisfaction may lie in the awards they are offered".

Today, majority of the employee service programs involve giving an employee logo jewelry with a "jewelling sequence" for their consequential years of service in the organization. In spite of the fact that the cost of such programs can cost millions of dollars, unluckily, there are some deadly flaws regarding their effectiveness. For instance, oftentimes an employee's anniversary date goes overlooked, though in the employee's mind the specific anniversary date is important. The faults in the recognition programs can be eliminated thereby reducing the company's cost and increasing the effectiveness of the employee recognition programs standardizing the activity of recognizing each employee's anniversary, while consequently letting increased pliancy of choice on the part of the employee of items of similar value . "Each year a new selection of gifts would be made available so that with each significant anniversary, employees have a fresh selection of gifts to choose from" (Sims, 2001).

Thus, the center of the program is on the employee's anniversary, and not on the increased value of a gift he receives. Nelson explains that the companies that have engineered this method have noticed remarkable improvement in their service program in terms of efficacy noted satisfaction and decreased costs. 500 of the Fortune 500 companies have formal Service Recognition Programs as they clearly accepts that these programs pay by yielding reduced turnover, improved safety performance and lower unscheduled absenteeism costs. These companies have come to know that the employee turnover is one of the greatest covert costs, where on an average you hire three and retain one each year. The training cost on the average for the newly trained employee comes out to be eight hours, as an example then the it costs at least $ 60 to train a new employee, excluding mistakes and poor quality costs. Resulting, in the actual training cost to be at the amount of $ 180 for one employee that stayed for one year. This amount will build up as you may hire at least 20 employee to keep one for five years costing $ 1,000.

Employee recognition programs save much for the company as no tax is levied on these programs, as tangible gifts above $ 400 attracts 40% tax. Recognition brings in social acclaim for the employee and is something "extra" for the employee.

By far, recognition is the "Number One" reward that employees react to and is far more significant than salary and benefits. Evelyn Clark designs and suggests a new way to recognize the employees' efforts, which is by story telling. Clark asserts that the "managers who consistently tell stories of people" caught doing something right "discover that recognition is truly a highly valued reward. The benefits are numerous:

– "The employee is pleased that the manager noticed a job well done and took the time to acknowledge it

– Other employees learn more about the behavior that the company values

– Employees are motivated to enhance their performance

– Employees take more pride in their affiliation with the company

– Productivity and profitability increase "

David Saxby narrates, "I'm amazed by the number of companies that spend thousands of dollars to improve their technology, increase their marketing efforts and set up that next killer sales program. Yet they do not quite see the benefit of making an investment in recognizing the most valuable asset they have: their front-line employees. These are the people who interact with the customer every day, handle customer-service conflicts and generate revenue for the company ". According to Saxby, recognition does not only means honoring the top performers, rather it is regarding recognizing people who better their skills all the time to give improved customer service and sell more product. Saxby points out that recognition does not talk only of money, rather it concerns about a mere hand-written thank-you note or an inscription that sits in the entryway for the world to look at. Further, recognition must not be limited to the annual event or the monthly meeting where people are acclaimed for their efforts, rather a positive attitude or an improved behavior must be recognized and praised immediately.

Recognition can come in different ways, like reinforcing positive performance, providing incentives and rewards, motivating with "high-impact" messages, rewarding extra efforts, honoring current employees and personalizing the work experience.

Hiam (2002) suggests, "If you recognize and make a bit of a fuss about the good things employees do, then you will find yourself spending a lot less time worrying about the bad things they do. They will do less of the negative, and they will strive to do more of the positive things you are recognizing. it is far, far easier to lead people to improved performances by thanking them when they do it right than giving them "grief" when they do it wrong ". Hiam (2002) further incorporates that employers must "praise and recognize" their "star performers", and "recognize good effort, not just results".

Handel in the reports, "In the business world, the greatest commodity to have is the best and brightest people. A recent survey by World at Work and the National Association for Employee Recognition (NAER) shows that companies are beginning to realize this more each day, as employee recognition programs are still used extensively in these tough economic times. According to the 2002 Employee Recognition Survey, 84 percent of the 391 responding companies have an employee recognition program. this shows that despite a tough economy, companies realize the importance of making sure their top performers are happy. in fact, although the economy has dipped substantially, employee recognition programs are gaining in popularity, as 41 percent of respondents indicate they are doing more with their recognition programs than they were 12 months ago. more than half (54 percent) of the respondents that said they do not currently have a program indicated they are considering implementing one in the next 12 months. Companies hope to achieve a number of things through their recognition programs, but creating a positive work environment is the top reason cited, with 84 percent of responding companies citing this as a goal of their program. Other goals include, reinforcing desired behaviors (76 percent) motivating high performance (73 percent), increasing morale (69 percent) and supporting organizational mission / values ​​(68 percent). The most popular method of recognizing employees is through gift certificates and cash, with 63 percent and 58 percent of companies reporting they use these forms of recognition. The most common reason for giving a recognition award is "length of service," (75 percent) followed by "above and beyond" performance (64 percent) ".

Emery (2000) reports that "In today's fiercely competitive labor market, cash is key to attracting skilled technical employees, human resources managers and business experts agree. But spiraling salaries and mammoth bonuses do not bind workers to their employers. What employees really want is recognition for a job well done. "

Experts maintain that it is not just the money that binds employees to the organization; rather it's the recognition. However, if the awards are tied to the performance, then only the money matters but does not lessen the importance of recognition programs. Experts further elucidates that the "companies that offer cash bonuses tied to performance are using their money productively, but they need to offer other rewards and make sure those rewards are tailored to the organization and its employees".

Why Good Employees Leave:

– 41% Feelings that opportunities for advancement are limited

– 25% Lack of recognition

– 15% inadequate salary and benefits

– 10% Unhappiness with Management

– 5% Bored with Jobs

– 4% do not know / did not answer

(Source: Robert Half International Inc.)

In a NAER Regional Conference, Empowering Excellence Through Recognition, 2002, following factors were identified as to the significance and materiality of the employee recognition programs. The first factor that was identified was knowing whether the employee wants recognition in private or public keeping in place the cultural norms and etiquette. There was also a suggestion of creating a web site of generic recognition that can be individualized. There must be a cultural promotion of peer to peer recognition so as to make everyone responsible to recognize every other peer. Such sort of employee recognition programs and cultural initiates have no cost at all, and organizations need to worry about the cost that are or need to be incurred. Once embedded in the culture, it's a free ride. Further it can be an easy way to retain and motivate, and may be a part of fun as recognizing for an accomplishment or improved performance may bring in surprises. This would not only makes the employee think they are valuable for the company but also ingrain in them a sense of belonging and association with the company. Involving employees in the design and implementation of the employee recognition programs also bring about great sense of valuation among the employees. It would certainly be more fun if the "employees tell YOU what they enjoy".

An employee recognition program must incorporate both the formal and informal awards in the program, if given instantly have great significant value and esteem and pride. A just Thank you card would serve the purpose most often. Other forms of recognition identified in the conference were singing recognition that generates no cost to the company, an on-line thank you where the management gets a copy, meaningful and sincere feelings both by the giver and the presenter, and even more better if the nominator is involved.

But all this recognition efforts comes when the manager is well aware of the beneficial impacts of the employee recognition programs and the positive attitudinal effects it brings about. And training the managers can do this. Which involves cost. Managers must be made aware of how recognition makes people feel through statistics and survey results, and must have a control of recognition, even if they do not have a budget. This is the only short-term cost that is and must be borne by the companies to carry out the recognition culture in the organization, and once ingrained in the company's culture, the managers and the companies need only to harvest the fruit. Thus, concluding, recognition is a mean to set up a high performance team in addition to other methods. Nevertheless, it is not a mathematical formula of calculating how much must be spend on employee recognition per person. This would mean recognizing the poor performers too, and that would reduce the impact and the excitement of the recognition program. Of course, there must be a budget set for the awards and incentives, but when it comes to the recognition, there, as has been discussed not much investment to be made. Juts make the horse understand how to carry the cart and drink the water from the well. The rest is done automatically. However, the first part is admittedly hard to accomplish, and that depends upon the managers' aptitude and competence. Some are charismatic and needs little training while some need not to train, as they are unchangeable.


Nicastro, Ric. The Best Ways to Motivate And Reward Employees, The Need For Recognition, San Diego Business Journal, reprinted in 2002

Nelson, Bob. Consultant Dispels Myths About Award Programs, 2001 Rewarding Employees Smarter. New Employee Recognition Ideas From Bill Sims! Reprinted with Permission from Bob Nelson, author of the Best Selling Book "1001 Ways to Reward Employees". Topic: RECOGNIZE YEARS OF SERVICE, DO NOT REWARD

Kovach, Professor Kenneth. Employee Relations Today, 1995

Clark, Evelyn. Retain Employees through Recognition – Tell Their Stories!

Ellender, David E. Employee Benefits: Asset or Expense? 2000

Saxby, David. Employee Recognition Can Make a Difference.

Hiam, Alex. Employee Recognition: Why It Matters. Rewarding employees for a job well-done will do wonders for their performance – and your bottom line, 2002

Handel, Jeremy. Employee Recognition Programs Increasing Despite Softer Economy, Oct. 29.2002.

Emery, Gail Repsher. EMPLOYEES: Show Me the Recognition, Vol. 15 No. 14, 2000 "Empowering Excellence Through Recognition" NAER Regional Conference Summary, Seattle, WA September 20, 2002

Nelson, Bob. 1001 Ways to Energize Employees, 1995

Source by Samreen Soomro

Marital Pathfinder 101

The issue of marital discovery and fulfillment has been a major discourse in most singles' forum taking cognizance of the implications of getting it wrong. When God created man, He took him and set him down in the garden and gave him a mandate (Vision): "… to work the ground and keep the garden in order" Gen 2:15 (message bible). He looked at man and said to Himself it's not good that man should be alone; let's make for him a help-mate and a companion. Reason being that man was not living his full potential and so needed a help-mate and a companion to relate some things with; God in His mightiness cause man to fall into a deep sleep, created a help-mate for him and presented her to him; "When man woke up, he came in contact with someone he is attracted to (someone of like mind), went close, identify himself with her, appreciate her, stretch out his hand towards her and they both hold hands, move round the garden and tend it properly according to God's instructions ". (My opinion).

Taking cue from where it all began- the Garden of Eden, as a single I strongly believe that marital fulfillment is real and everyone is meant to experience it if we can just know what we want and go through the process or stages towards getting what we desire. It takes grace-unmerited favor for good thing to come easily. Let me buttress on Adams experience as follow:

Woke up: when man woke up … literally in life, when a man is said to have woke up from his sleep, it means he has gotten to the point of realizing that something is missing in his life and so needs attention and until this is done, optimal satisfaction or fulfillment will not be drive. Speaking from marital point of view, it's where a man realized that for him to gain much ground in life, he will need a help-mate (vision helper) to give him the much needed support to fulfill purpose. By this, I mean the achieving the intangibles- life vision, life assignment. For the ladies, it's the point where she needs someone with some sense of purpose. It is the point where a man will need to make clear his life vision, mission and set values ​​that will govern his life activities- setting his priority (s) right as he moves on the journey to marital discovery and fulfillment. When this is done, he goes on an ultimate search through praying, fasting, interaction with people and the environment.

Attraction: … he came in contact with someone he is attracted to (someone of like mind) … Gen 2:23; Esther 2:17. person-300x202The law of attraction states that every man draws to him what flows out of him. When Adam woke up, he came in contact with someone of like mind- someone that speaks and understands his language, sees what he sees, with similar mandate, etc and so got attracted to her because his instinct communicated it to him. As singles (guys and ladies), the law of attraction should not be ignored in our quest for marital fulfillment. A guy or lady, who knows where he / she is going, will deliberately get attracted to only those going in the same direction with him / her. If for any reason, you are attracting to yourself friends you do not wish to have, it means you have to work on what flows out of you- rebrand yourself inside-out. Try to understand your temperament (strength and weakness) and then the temperament of someone that will complement yours. On the other hand, if you are attracting the right people into your life, then you are on the right path to marital fulfillment because these people see what you see, speak and understand your language- success, spiritual intensity, business success, career fulfillment , etc

Get close and identify with people: … went close, identify with her … law of contact. For one to get what he / she need in life, he will have to take steps forward without necessarily seeing the stair case to step on. As singles (guys and ladies) I do not think we need to see a vision, have a dream, go on a trance or have an impartation with the full bottle of anointing oil pour on our head for us to go close to people we are attracted to and have an interaction with them. When the first man woke up from his deep sleep, he came in contact with someone he is attracted to (someone of like mind) and so went close and interacted with her. It is at the point of interaction he discovered that they both have so much in common and so he identify with her immediately. Personally, I strongly believe that all relationship with the opposite sex will not end in marriage (life partner); I believe also that if we set our priority (s) right, at the point of interaction with those we are attracted to, we will be able to identify and discover a relationship that will not work for marriage but can work in the area of ​​career , business contact / partner, best of friends, etc. Let's increase our sensitivity antenna as the Spirit of Truth will help us. When we do, there will be no reason for regretting knowing or coming in contact with anyone; though, we are not perfect or guru in relationship matter but the chances of regret will be very minimal or near to zero.

Appreciation: … appreciate her … what you appreciate in the life of someone over a period of time will as a matter of fact become your reality (paraphrase- law of appreciation). In as much as the first man identify with the similarities between him and his friend so to speak, he also notice that there are attributes his friend have which he do not but needed to excel and so appreciated these attributes. Appreciating someone's strengths and giving strength to ones weakness has a way of building and strengthen relationship and friendship. As singles, it's impossible to have strength in all facet of life; and so when we see someone doing things in the area of ​​our weakness, we should endeavor to celebrate them and leverage on their strength to fulfill purpose in life.

Stretch out your hands to get help: … stretch out his hand towards her … the good book says "ask and ye shall receive, seek and ye shall find, knock and the door shall be open unto thee". At this point, the relationship should be defined. Gen 2:25. As I said, all relationship will not end in marriage; when you interact with people, you will know the areas (Business, career, Spirituality, academics, etc) you will team work to achieve great results in life. When this is defined, the objective of the relationship should be stated and boundaries set. In life, nothing works until someone work it out; relationship does not work out until those involve make it work; it's a team work affairs and nobody's commitment should be taken for granted rather it should be appreciated.

Get bonded: … and they hold hands, move round the garden and tend it properly according to God's instructions. The book of life says "do two people walk hand in hand if they are not going to the same place?" (Message bible). There must be some form of agreement between both parties

Source by Emmanuel Chukwuyem Agese

Deleted Text Messages and Cheating Spouses

Of all of the emails that I get asking about clues points to cheating, text messages are by far the most common topic. People want to know if deleted text messages are a sign that indicates probable cheating. They want to know if they can read texts that have been deleted. And, they want to know if there is any logical and legitimate reason that an innocent spouse would want to delete texts that are completely appropriate. I will discuss all of these things in the following article.

Why Text Messages Can Be A Cheater's Best Friend: Spouses who cheat love technology. They especially love text messages because it is an easy, cheap, and immediate way to connect with or communicate with the person who they are cheating with. (They love picture messages also.) There's something playful and alluring about sending a text or picture and getting an almost immediate response. Plus, you can immediately delete anything that you do not want for your spouse to read.

Almost everyone has a cell phone today and most of us carry them with us everywhere we go. So, it's not all that suspicious for your spouse to be carrying one with them and / or messaging and checking email on it. This is a behavior that they hope and assume will not bring your attention to their cheating.

But what they do not count on is that usually, even the most laid back spouse will eventually suspect that something is wrong or off. And, once that little voice in the back of the faithful spouse's head begins to speak and ask questions, then suddenly they are noticing every out of place or recurrent or excessive behaviors – and that includes your cell.

Plus, even if the cheating spouse is very careful to hide their texting, this is the logical first place that most suspicious spouses are going to look. Other than your email and internet trash can and recycle bin, your text message out, in, or sent box is one of the first logical places to check.

Why A Deleted Text Message Does not Mean That You Can not Catch Their Cheating. You Can Usually Read These: The very crafty and sneaky spouse will usually think that they've gotten rid of all evidence of their inappropriate texts by merely hitting delete. This can give them a false sense of security and they'll keep right on messaging back and forth and leaving a trail even though they assume they are perfectly safe.

But, hitting delete is not the end of the story. There is software that will get these texts and photos back and allow for you to read and see them without a password and even if they've been erased for a long time. This can be very very useful because usually all the gloves are off in these messages. Since the cheating spouse assumes that this message is deleted forever, they speak freely. This is exactly what you want to read.

I realize that sometimes spouses will swear that their deleting their texts is perfectly innocent. They will tell you that they were just cleaning out their files and leaving room. Or they will tell you that they just wanted to get rid of things from work that are outdated now. Well, any reasonably recent cell phone will automatically delete messages once the files get full. This is true of even the cheapest phone.

So, I rarely believe it when I hear someone claim that a pattern of deleted messages was completely innocent. Why go through that trouble if you have nothing to hide when this happens automatically? But, if you have any doubt of this or suspect something, it's very easy to check this out. And once you find the texts in question, you can then plug in the phone number to find out who the other person is and who the cell belongs to.

Source by Seeta Dean