Traditional VS. Modern Anniversary Gifts

Most people are familiar with the traditional materials list that good etiquette requires us use as a guide when selecting a gift to commemorate a wedding anniversary. If you are like most people, you might find it a bit challenging to convert the materials on the list into an acceptable gift idea. There may be more choices available to you than you realize. Do you know that an updated "modern" gift list is available which is becoming more and more popular? This article touches on the history of the traditional list, highlights the differences between the modern and traditional lists, and helps you decide which is right for you.

Parts of the traditional list have existed since medieval times. Historians can trace the origins of silver and golden anniversaries to medieval Germany, where garlands made of these metals were presented as gifts for the 25th and 50th years of marriage. The rest of the list may not be as traditional as you think. I was surprised to learn that the traditional list, as we know it today, did not exist until 1937. In that year, the American National Retail Jeweler Association published a list, which associated a material for each Anniversary up to the 15th year and then each fifth year after that up to the 60th Anniversary. The following is the materials list from 1937, through the 60th year:

* First – Paper

* Second – Cotton

* Third – Leather

* Fourth – Fruit / Flowers

* Fifth – Wood

* Sixth – Candy / Iron

* Seventh – Wool / Copper

* Eighth – Bronze / Pottery

* Ninth – Pottery / Willow

* Tenth – Tin / Aluminum

* Eleventh – Steel

* Twelfth – Silk / Linen

* Thirteenth – Lace

* Fourteenth – Ivory

* Fifteenth – Crystal

* Twentieth – China

* Twenty-Fifth – Silver

* Thirtieth – Pearl

* Thirty-Fifth – Coral

* Fortieth – Ruby

* Forty-Fifth – Sapphire

* Fiftieth – Gold

* Fifty-fifth – Emerald

* Sixtieth – Diamond

The modern anniversary materials list presents us with a contemporary, easier to use alternative. The modern list has no clear beginning, but like the original, each year's gift is more precious than the last. This arrangement is intended to honor the longevity of the commitment. The new list retains the spirit of the traditional list, but loses the some of the sense of etiquette in the original. Although more convenient, the modern list sacrifices the thoughtfulness previously required to make a good gift from the more mundane materials on the old list. However, the modern list is more extravagant (expensive) than the original, which in some cases may be more appreciated than a thoughtful but humble gift from the traditional list. The following is the widely accepted modern list, through the 60th year:

* First – Clocks

* Second – China

* Third – Crystal / Glass

* Fourth – Appliances

* Fifth – Silverware

* Sixth – Candy / Iron

* Seventh – Desk Sets

* Eighth – Bronze / Pottery

* Ninth – Linen / Lace

* Tenth – Leather

* Eleventh – Jewelry

* Twelfth – Pearls

* Thirteenth – Textiles / Furs

* Fourteenth – Gold Jewelry

* Fifteenth – Watches

* Twentieth – Platinum

* Twenty-Fifth – Silver

* Thirtieth – Diamond

* Thirty-Fifth – Jade

* Fortieth – Ruby

* Forty-Fifth – Sapphire

* Fiftieth – Gold

* Fifty-fifth – Emerald

* Sixtieth – Diamond Jubilee

For most couples, I recommend using the modern list. When selecting a gift from the modern list you have the benefit of more specificity, for example a desk set is much more clear than copper / wool. With the modern list, you will not risk insulting your spouse by rewarding 10 years of companionship with a pitiful tin or aluminum gift. Believe me, she will not be satisfied with the excuse of tradition. Also, good luck finding the ivory candlesticks for year 14! Unless you really enjoy the creative challenge of using the traditional list, try the modern list this year.

Source by Slade Hartwell

How to Save a Long Distance Relationship From Falling Apart – Save Your Long Distance Relationship!

Learning how to save a long distance relationship from falling apart is the growing factor in many lives today. There are a growing numbers of long distance relationship that are dealing with this issue everyday. Just look at all the Internet romance!

But when your new to this arrangement you tend to be clingy and uncertain. You may be in new territory but you are not by yourself. There are many that have gone before you and survived. The one's who did not lacked the commitment. My heart goes out to anyone that is away from their lovers and children. But with commitment it can be done.

When learning how to save a long distance relationship you must:

  1. Keep regular contact happy and loving.
  2. No late calls out of the ordinary to cause a scare.
  3. Write love letters once a month to affirm the love you both have.
  4. If you do not keep with routines or can not. Tell the other person to prevent insecurities.
  5. Try to set dates to get together or meet have way.
  6. Use the technology to keep in touch and to see real faces and expressions.
  7. Be careful with words when texting. Messaging can be misunderstood without voice or facial expressions.

No worries you are in good company. There are many people and growing amounts in your same situation. Just look at public figures, movie stars, military families, not to mention the jobs that send people away for lengths of time. As long as there is commitment from both parties you can have a beautiful fulfilling relationship.

Source by Darlene Matthews

The Main Values ​​of Friendship

Good friendship last long if both have some common values ​​to keep their relationship in good harmony. This was apparent through my own experience as a teenager with my best friend.

In my high school days, I have only one close friend, I consider him my best friend forever. We have all in common, from food we eat, games we played, music we sing, etc. Generally, our classmate teased us as twins, although we've different physical differences, he was handsome and I was not so attractive. In other words, we act as one in all aspects of what we do.

We only parted ways when we graduated from high school. I continued my college studies and he went to the city to find a job. After a couple of years, I became a teacher and he became a farmer.

6 Common Values ​​for Friendship.

1. Loyalty. We're both loyal to each other, we see to it not hurt each one of us. We cherished our relationship so much that we were always extra careful not hurt one another. Before we decided to make decisions, we always consult each other the pros and cons of the outcome for our decisions.

2. Trust. We always cultivate a 100% trust level for both of us. Whatever, is the results of what we've made, we simply accept each ones opinion wholeheartedly.

3. Honesty. This is the most important value our good friendship lasts for a long time. We've always stick to what we believe is right and does not blame one another. We always maintain truthfulness and frankness in our dealing with each other.

4. Respect. No matter what our differences sometimes dominates over our relationship, we always abide to what is more acceptable for both of us. We respect one another in order not to offend each of us.

5. Concern. The feeling of one is the feeling of the other. When I'm not feeling well, he would always be at my side to comfort me. When I'm lonely, depressed and isolated, he's always there to provide inspiration and guidance what to do. The same is true when he's experienced the same.

6. Support. To make our relationship more binding, we always support each others in terms of our assignments, projects, and often we helped our classmates who needs our help. Every school related activities we participated in, we always tend to join our efforts to finish the work to create an acceptable result from our teacher.

A good friendship carries these main values ​​based on my own experience with my friend. Following them, made us strong and no external obstacles stained our closeness until he was called to the other side of the world by our creature.

Source by Crisologo Ramasasa

When A Relationship Is Out Of Sync

A real key in a relationship to both be on the same footing, and to have the same goals for the relationship. The longer it is for when the relationships are when they are out of sync, the more likely it is for the relationship to become toxic and unsustainable, but what do you do when this happens? You have choices to make, and these can be difficult choices to make in this relationship.

You can choose to remain in status quo, and most likely suffer from this consequence. Like a rubber band we can be stretched for only so long. When you have to operate outside of your personal norms and standards you may the daily grind of the relationship to be more than you can handle. The relationship may have enough payoffs that it makes it OK for you to go on with the relationship. You may get enough return out of this relationship to make this endurable, then again you have an option to end the relationship at any time, or you can even opt to make choices in this relationship later.

You can also choose to end the relationship. This really depends on what you get back out of your partner. Do you get anything positive out of your partner? Do you receive kindness, nurturing, or anything else that makes you feel good? If the negative transactions outweigh the positive ones it may be time to move on. Think of positive transactions as deposits into a checking out, and the negative transactions as deductions in the account. If you are always in the red, chances are you aren’t happy with the relationship and it may be time to move on.

Finally you can choose to make changes in the relationship. You can tell your partner what you are and aren’t happy with in the relationship. You can tell them what you want and desire from the relationship. Keep in mind; you can not bluff when it comes to this. Tell them you want more connectedness, or more time together, or knowing where you stand with them. If they listen, and receive your comments well, and agree to work on these issues, these are good signs. If they do not listen to you, and tell you they aren’t going to change, it is time to move on.

Everyone deserves a relationship that is healthy, mutual and one that you receive positive emotions from the other person. Sometimes we are out of sync in our closeness, and this may be due to ignorance of the other person, a mismatch in timing, or a mismatch in person. You hold the responsibility in driving a relationship where you want it to go. You will receive the type of relationship that you allow to happen. If you are out of step with that other person, strive to place the both of you in the same step and direction. You absolutely deserve a relationship that is rewarding for you.

Source by Stephanie Manley

The Importance of Anniversaries

Anniversaries are an important opportunity to stop and take time to reflect on the significance of a particular person, day or time in our life. There can be public anniversaries, times of national celebration and euphoria like a royal golden wedding anniversary, where there is much coverage of all that has happened during the intervening years since the original event, prompting a time of national nostalgia. Or there can be anniversaries commemorating a special national triumph, like a major sporting achievement. And these times can provide important opportunities to pull together as a nation and reinforce a country or community’s united sense of pride and loyalty.

There can also be anniversaries that provide a time of national mourning, a time to respect and commemorate the people who have died on our behalf, the valour of people who experienced great hardship or difficulties for an important belief, right or freedom. The shared emotion of these times is also a time for individuals to recall their own experience of loss. Personal memories and associations are always a factor in the midst of a national emotion. We may have lost family members or loved ones, or we may empathise and have other experiences of loss that allow us to share and connect with the feelings of deep emotion at these times.

Personal anniversaries are often a time of joy and celebration. Birthdays and wedding anniversaries can be times when the whole family makes the effort to reunite and celebrate whilst also catching up on news and closeness that may have been neglected during the intervening time. They can also be tinged with sadness and nostalgia, remembering those people who are no longer around.

Some families maintain the tradition of celebrating a mother’s birthday long after she has died. They know how much she enjoyed seeing the whole family together and continuing the tradition is an important way to honour her life and her memory. These times provide an opportunity for families to reconnect, to take time to be with each other and reinforce the family bond once more.

Remembering the significance of an anniversary is important too. A couple may buy each other gifts and cards, go away for a weekend together on their wedding anniversary, but it is also important to take time out to remember their vows and commitment to each other. It can provide an important time to reflect on their life together and the various experiences, challenges and successes that they have been through. These times provide an opportunity to stop and reflect on the importance of their relationship, how much it means to them and to value what they have. It provides an interlude to commit to appreciating it again fully.

Celebrating the life of a loved one no longer with us can be a very special way to remember an anniversary. Some families may choose to share a meal, a toast, time together. National mourning for a public figure can also provide an opportunity for people to grieve for their personal loss, as they share in the emotion of other people. Rituals can provide comfort and a sense of familiarity, of coming back to ones roots at a designated time. They can provide reassurance and grounding.

There can also be other types of anniversaries. Some people recall the time when they made an important decision, to end a marriage, leave their job, start their own business, change their image. Remembering these dates can be a poignant occasion. Often even if these choices turn out to be less than perfect or smooth to achieve, the date of a major change of direction or the start of an eventful new beginning can be remembered with affection and celebrated. We can take the time on these days to value what we have done, appreciate how courageous we have been and give ourselves credit for our achievements.

Source by Susan Leigh

Friendship Quotes, Friendship and Its Essential in Our Life

I would like to take an opportunity to share with you a very special relationship of our lives. Yes, it is the relationship of friendship. Friendship happens when two or more than two people come close to each others, share their feelings, understand each other’s problems and feel the pain. It is the pure bond between friends and there is no space for selfishness.

There are many writers who have given their views about the friendship. They have written lots of friendship quotes and explained the quality of true friends, how they care for each others, how they put hand in hand and solve the problems. So reading these kind of quotes inspire us to be a good friend.

The friendship quotes denote some essential qualities of friends like:-

  • There is an element of mutual understanding between friends.
  • There is no formalities between friends. They are like one soul and two bodies.
  • In bad time, when others show their back, friends come in and hold our hands.
  • They know your bad habits but still love you.
  • Friendship is the blessing of god.
  • In front of friends you can dare to be yourself. You do not pretend any false expressions.
  • Your lovers may deceive you but true friends never do that.
  • Life is nothing without friendship.
  • They are always loyal to you.

So you should always take care in choosing your friends because true friends are rare to found and once found you are through. So be slow in choosing friends and slower while changing. Your true mates are like your mirror. They show you your actual picture. They realize you that your important for them. They feel happy in your company and try to make you happy as well.

If you want to know about someone, just ask from their friends. They are the people who know him/her very well. Friends know the songs of our heart and play it for our smile. They keep our secret and care for us. There is a great bonding between them.

Friendship is the relation where people revere for each other and can not tolerate anything against one another. When you read friendship quotes you will come to know that how friends sacrifice for each other’s success. Your family may not be as much concerned about you as your true friends are. So never hurt or jibe your true mate as they are hard to find. So perceive the sugar of life with this great bond of human life.

Source by Bhawna K

How to Save a Long Distance Relationship From Falling Apart – Save Your Long Distance Relationship!

Learning how to save a long distance relationship from falling apart is the growing factor in many lives today. There are a growing numbers of long distance relationship that are dealing with this issue everyday. Just look at all the Internet romance!

But when your new to this arrangement you tend to be clingy and uncertain. You may be in new territory but you are not by yourself. There are many that have gone before you and survived. The one's who did not lacked the commitment. My heart goes out to anyone that is away from their lovers and children. But with commitment it can be done.

When learning how to save a long distance relationship you must:

  1. Keep regular contact happy and loving.
  2. No late calls out of the ordinary to cause a scare.
  3. Write love letters once a month to affirm the love you both have.
  4. If you do not keep with routines or can not. Tell the other person to prevent insecurities.
  5. Try to set dates to get together or meet have way.
  6. Use the technology to keep in touch and to see real faces and expressions.
  7. Be careful with words when texting. Messaging can be misunderstood without voice or facial expressions.

No worries you are in good company. There are many people and growing amounts in your same situation. Just look at public figures, movie stars, military families, not to mention the jobs that send people away for lengths of time. As long as there is commitment from both parties you can have a beautiful fulfilling relationship.

Source by Darlene Matthews

My Spouse Believes I've Changed, And Not For The Better

There's no question that many of us are not the same person who we were when we met and then married our spouse. This can be particularly true if you have been married for quite a while. And this is because most of us mature and experience things that shape our personalities so that they take on a slightly different appearance. There is nothing wrong with this maturity because it usually means that we have grown and evolved. Unfortunately though, it can become an issue if our spouse feels that the changes mean that we have outgrown them or are no longer compatible with them.

To demonstrate what I mean, I might hear a comment like: "when I met my husband, I was a young, naive girl who rarely spoke to someone unless they spoke to me first. I was painfully shy so it was only natural for me to let my husband take care of most things. My husband was very comfortable with this because he was much more assertive than I was. So, for a while, this worked very well for us. But when we were first married, I took a job that allowed me to remain in the shadows. It was a good fit for me then. However, I have grown with the company over time. And now, I am in a management position with a lot of responsibilities. I have to take much more of an upfront role. And at first I was not completely comfortable being so assertive but after a while, my personality evolved so that I now am. As a result, I can handle pretty much everything on my own. My husband no longer needs to do nearly as much for me. and he obviously resents this because the other day, he came home and started gathering phone numbers to call people to get quotes to update our home. I told him that I had already taken care of it. In truth, my assistant took care of most of it, but I did not see the need to tell him this. My husband became angry that I handled it. He told me that I am not the person that I used to be. He said that now I am pushy and overly-assertive and aggressive. He says he does not like this new personality of mine. And then, as if insulting me was not enough, he said he is not sure that he wants to be with someone who is that much of a type A personality. He said if I was this way when he met me, he would not have dated me. He loves the shy, soft spoken girl that he first met. He does not much care for the confident woman I have become. I do not want to lose my marriage. But I'm not going to pretend to be someone who I am not. "I'll try to offer some insights on this in the following article.

It May Not Be That He Does not Like The New You. It May Be That He Does not Like How The New You Makes Him Feel: Honestly, this is a very common problem for couples that have been married for a while. People are rarely the same person that you married. Some people will feel cheated by this. But if they were being totally honest, they would have to admit that they have changed somewhat, too. No one is the same person that they were multiple years ago. And this is not necessarily a bad thing.

What makes people the most uncomfortable with this situation is the fact that the changes in personalities also sometimes bring about a change in their marital roles. Usually, how they relate to their spouse can define one of the ways that they think about themselves. For example, the husband in this scenario likely had always felt like his wife's protector and provider. This made him feel good about himself and secure in his role as her husband. He felt as if she needed him. This is often important for men. When he perceives that this role is taken away, it may make him feel like less of a man.

See If There Is A Way To Compromise So That You Can Be Yourself And He Can See Glimpses Of The Old You: Try hard not to take this personally. Because I doubt that it's true that he no longer likes your personality. It's that the new independent you makes him feel as if he just is not needed anymore. This makes him feel insecure about your marriage. So, he tries to use reverse psychology on you and tells you that he is not sure that he wants the marriage anymore. What he really means, though, is that he's worried that you no longer want, or need, the marriage.

So how do you fix this? You have to really find out what is most important to him concerning his role in your marriage. If he absolutely needs to feel as if he is lightening your load by doing most of the work and the negotiating when it comes to your home and your security, then it would not hurt to allow him to handle those things, even if you are completely capable of handling them yourself. And it does not hurt to put this into words.

You might try something like: "honey, I'm really sorry. I had a spare moment and I thought that my handling this would spare you the extra work. I did not mean to take over your job. From now on, I will leave things that relate to the house up to you. I do appreciate that you take care of these things. And it will not happen again. Could we please move on from this? "

Know that it may take him a little while to cool down. But when he sees that you are really making an effort, then he will likely back off a little bit. I know it might be tempting to point out where he has changed. But, I do not see any reason to make this worse. Common sense tells you that you have likely both changed. But this usually will not be a problem unless if forces one or both of you to reevaluate your roles, which can sometimes make people uncomfortable.

Source by Leslie Cane

"Happily Ever After" – 10 Essential Elements to a Loving Bipolar Relationship

In just a few weeks Valentine’s Day will be upon us. For the seemingly happy couples it will be a day of declaring their everlasting love by giving cards, gifts, sending flowers, enjoying a romantic dinner or just spending loving time at home alone.

For those of us living with/married to a loved one with bipolar disorder, it may represent another day we are missing that feeling of “happily ever after.” A world we believed would be ours when we first fell in love. The intense feelings of love, promise and excitement have become mixed with the equally intense feelings of anger, guilt, sadness, confusion, worry and loneliness.

Your partner has an illness, which you don’t have, and yet it affects your life every single day. The reality is you’re constantly struggling with all the complicated feelings towards the one you love, an unexpected twist to your relationship.

Today couples who don’t deal with the complications of a mood disorder still have to work at keeping a loving relationship. Worse, current statistics prove that the divorce rate for people with bipolar disorder is 3 ½ times more likely than people in the general population. So how do you cope?

10 Essential Elements to a Loving Bipolar Relationship

  1. Accept and acknowledge the illness: Bipolar disorder is challenging. Trying to pretend it’s not there won’t make it go away. As with all illnesses bipolar disorder needs to be treated.
  2. Establish dreams and goals: As a couple you began working towards common goals. Once the bipolar disorder has been discovered it’s time to look carefully towards your future. Always remember as the spouse / partner your dreams and desires are important. Compromise is good but don’t forget to keep a perspective on your personal dreams
  3. Maintain intimacy: Physical attention will keep the intimacy alive. If sex isn’t a current part of your relationship, a simple touch, hug or kiss are still important towards keeping a loving relationship.
  4. Communicate with your partner: Comforting words do go a long way.
  • I love you, no matter what.
  • You are not alone and I’m here for you.
  • You are important to me.
  • Set realistic expectations: Expecting too much of your partner sets them up for failure and expecting too little gives them no incentive toward recovery. Find a balance between encouraging independence and providing support.
  • Know your own limitations: Your health is important. Seek support and find outlets to help you maintain your physical & emotional well being.
  • Do not take the symptoms personally: Remember that the actions of your partner during a depressed or manic episode are symptoms of the Bipolar disorder. By not engaging in arguments or debates during an episode you control your personal state of mind.
  • Plan and prepare!: The more you know about bipolar disorder and especially your partners’ triggers, symptoms and behaviors the easier it will be for you to work together planning and preparing for possible future episodes.
  • Be understanding: Just as your partner can’t possibly understand what it’s like to be in your shoes, you can’t possibly understand what it’s like to be in theirs. Help by listening with compassion.
  • Be an active participant, As a spouse / partner your view of the bipolar illness is a powerful tool. You know more about your partner’s moods and actions than anyone else. Sharing the information you have could be the key to correct treatment and recovery.
  • Although your life with your partner is probably not at all what you thought it would be that doesn’t mean that a happy and meaningful relationship is out of reach. By adding these elements to your daily life, while continuing to follow your path to your personal goals and dreams, you are giving your relationship a chance to grow with new goals and visions. As with any relationship, it takes work and anything worth having is worth working for.

    Source by Kathleen Hennessey Buchanan

    25 Questions That Every Woman Should Ask A Man: Essential Dating Advice For Women

    You may not realize it, but there are certain things which a woman should ask a man in order to set the pace, boundaries, and direction of a relationship. Women, who fail to ask the right questions, always end up getting strung along in a relationship.

    A woman, who gets strung along, generally finds that a guy does whatever he wants, when he wants without much consideration of her wants or desires.

    But that's because she never clarified or asked, so he thinks everything is fine and that she is happy, because she is not saying otherwise; and goes after his own desires. This would mean that men, who want to use women, end up doing it; and men who want to take women for granted, end up doing it etc …

    This is why it's extremely important to ask the right questions early on, so that you do not throw yourself into a vicious cycle where a man uses you like a door mat. Moreover, the questions you ask help you direct him into knowing what exactly it is that you want, and help a man give you what you want.

    Here are the 25 questions which every woman should ask a man:

    1. What are your personal goals? – You SHOULD know what it is that he wants to do outside of a relationship, because he is going to want to do them. Most women get in the way of a man's personal goals, because they want all of his goals to involve her. Accept that not all of his goals involve you, as they were formed before you … and some simply will not involve you regardless.

    2. What was your childhood like? – Knowing a man's childhood is like being given a key to understanding everything he is about, because it will explain why he is the way he is. This is something every woman should know from top to bottom.

    3. What are your insecurities? – These little devils will pop up out of nowhere if you do not ask and do not get clarification. When they do surface, they usually ruin and destroy everything good, so it's something you MUST discuss and find out early on, so that you know how to handle it or you are aware that it's just insecurity when it surfaces.

    4. What career path are you interested in ? – This is a direction every woman should be aware of, because it could involve him moving away, or having to spend a lot of time at work etc …

    5. What do you expect from a relationship ? – Not everyone's idea of ​​a relationship is the same. It's good to clarify this early on and figure out what a relationship really is to him.

    6. What do you want out of life ? – This encompasses everything he expects to accomplish out of life, if that includes his career, a family, financial success etc … in essence, it's all of the major goals he has for himself until he dies.

    7. What can not you stand? – Imagine if you spent your entire time doing everything he hates, because he never tells you? This is how 99.9% of relationships are, and it's why they fail, because women never actually know that it is that they are doing wrong, and they never find out what it is that their man actually can not stand. It's good to know his boundaries here.

    8. Do you want children? – Some couples never discuss this, so when one of the partners declares they'd like kids, they are shocked and torn apart when they realize their partner never did. If you want children, and even if you do not you need to ask him if that's something he is looking forward to or not.

    9. What were your past relationships like? – A person's relationship past can show you patterns in their personality. It is also good to know, to find out if a man still has not moved on, if they have baggage, if they are the cheating type etc … which is not something you want to find out later.

    10. What attracts you to women? – A general question that goes beyond the superficial. Everyone has their unique idea of ​​an ideal partner; it is good to know what is actually ideal and attractive to a man in the first place.

    11. What expectations do you have on yourself ? – A man's expectations on himself will rub off onto everyone else that he encounters, if they do not fall into those expectations; but more importantly, a man's expectations of himself can determine his reactions and actions toward many things.

    12. What are your views on spirituality? – Religion matters to some, to others it does not. However, it is important to find out if it does matter to your partner, and where they stand on it, and if they can accept you into their life with the beliefs they have.

    13. What do you expect from a partner ? – What does he want from you? What does he need? What things are the most important to him, from a woman? What kinds of things is he looking for from his partner?

    14. Describe your family and friends? – Who are they, what are they about, how does the family function, what kinds of relationships are there etc …? All of this shaped who he is today, and may shape his ideas on the kind of relationship he wants. Get to know his family and friends.

    15. What do you think about marriage and commitment? – We are coming to an era where people are evenly drawn between marriages and simply dating. Some believe it's better to date and stay in a long term relationship without marriage, because they believe things are fine as they are. Others believe marriage is the way. Some men, on the other hand only believe in short term relationships. It is good to know where he stands on the subject, so that you can clarify where you stand.

    16. What is your sexual history? – It is good to know what a partner's sexual history was, for obvious safety reasons (STD's); but also to understand how your partner views sexuality and intimacy to begin with.

    17. What role does a woman play in a relationship? – Find out what purpose he believes you would fulfill in a relationship with him. For instance, some men think that a woman should not work, is that something he believes should be your role?

    18. What is your financial situation? – Regardless of whether or not you are financially independent, you should know this. Finances support a person's way of life, so you should be aware on a general level of his financial standing; because financial problems and even success can bear a lot of stress or problems for a man.

    19. What is your stance on intimacy and sex? – When does he think it is alright to initiate intimacy? What kinds of fantasies or desires does he have in that area? What does he expect?

    20. What is loyalty to you? – Does he believe in monogamy? What is his idea of ​​loyalty? What kind of loyalty does he expect?

    21. How do you define love? – Some men may not believe in it, others may think it's the only way. Some may say its conditional, others say it's unconditional. It's good to know how a man defines love, because that sets the emotional pace for the relationship.

    22. What are your worst life experiences? – Knowing where a man came from and how he overcame it can show you where he plans on going in the future. Also, there could have been life changing events, traumatic events, etc … which you should be aware of, because those can affect him now depending on the severity.

    23. What are your successes? – What are his best experiences, what has he accomplished? These are things he has worked on, and can show you where his interests lie, but also HOW he tackles things and how he wins.

    24. What are your worst fears? – To some, it could be commitment; to others it could be bankruptcy. You should know what kinds of things hold him back, or make him afraid … as those can get in the way of everything if they surface or become triggered. Remember they are his WORST fears.

    25. What do you want to know about me? – Sometimes a man will not ever ask things, because he does not feel the floor is open to ask. Let him know that he can ask you anything, and be open to his questions without judging them or criticizing the things he is asking. This question is important to let a guy know that he CAN get to know you and CAN know the things he wants to, and there are most definitely things he wants to know.

    Source by James Perdue Scott