So you want to know what love is. I know I did when I first started dating. I can not begin to recount the number of times I thought I knew-only to learn differently-much to my chagrin. Here I was, in love with all my heart, giving the best that I could give … and then "whambo" the relationship fell apart.
Date smart, establish a reciprocal mutual relationship and you will find love.
Have you experienced relationship problems because you could not define love clearly? Maybe the same thing happened to you that happened to me. Do not despair because I have some good news for you.
And it is this: Love is a Reciprocal Process. You give your best; you deserve the same in return. I'm never settling for less than what I deserve in a relationship again. And you do not have to either.
Mutual respect is the key to attaining a balanced relationship. It means that your partner extends mutual respect to you. He sees the uniqueness of your being; your ideals; your vision; your goals and he appreciates your right to free expression in an atmosphere of respect and acceptance.
It means you can talk to him from the depth of your heart and he will listen respectfully and never attack or withdraw from your openness.
You know how we women are, we tend to give too much, too soon. And because of this, sometimes our partner thinks he can mold us into an image he wants us to be. He may want us to be someone else or something else we do not want to be, nor can possibly be. Nonetheless he takes on an "I can change her" attitude.
For instance, say you're just a girl who wants to marry, have children, and become a stay-at-home mom. You want to join the PTA, and Girl Scouts. You want to take the kids to dancing classes, Little League Baseball, music lessons and the like.
Nothing wrong with that – except if your partner wants you to be, instead, a career woman like the women he works with, thus defeating your own dreams of full-time motherhood.
So he begins to berate you for either not completing a college education, or for not doing anything with a college diploma you may have – even though you have expressed your desire for motherhood and family life foremost.
In that case he would not be accepting you. That would not be showing mutual respect. That's no way to live. Mutual respect demands that our partner accept our individuality.
Learn to date smart by establishing reciprocal appreciation. This allows you to reach out enthusiastically, even beyond your own center, to express yourself in ways you never expected you could, even with greater confidence because you have something valuable to share YOU, your ideas and dreams and he appreciates that!
And of course we extend to him the same understanding of reciprocal and mutual respect as the definition of love.