Verbal abuse proves that words can be a powerful weapon because they shoot the very soul. Consistent name-calling, harsh flare-ups and glaring insults form part of this subtle aggression that inflicts psychological violence. They destroy the confidence and threaten the life of the abused. It can exist in any relationship, even in marriage.
If you've suffered from this issue, you wonder if there is there still a way to fix your relationship. Fortunately, there is. Just read the suggestions below and find out how to overcome this serious trouble.
For the Abused
Accept and let go of the problem.
No problem can be resolved without accepting it has happened to you. If you keep denying you are in this situation, you will never get over it. Go through the pain and put a period on it. It may seem unmanageable but have the power to leave yesterday behind. Forgive your partner and start afresh.
Regain your self-esteem.
When you can not defend yourself from the painful accusations and abusive jokes, you gradually lose self-esteem. To rebuild this, focus on your good side and be happy with your strengths. You can post a list of your positive traits on your room to remind yourself that you're overflowing with goodness.
Stick with positive people.
Hang out with people who love you for who you are, like your family and best buddies. Joining support groups in your community is also another option. The members can offer emotional backup and practical advices on how to handle this issue with their experience as the main source.
For the Abuser
Show sincerity when you tell your partner you regret the act of maltreatment you've committed. Promise not to repeat the habits in your marriage and keep it. Learn how to communicate your thoughts carefully and appropriately. Even rage can be expressed with the right words. If this is too difficult for you, seek professional help.
Pause before you answer back.
Because of your inability to think before speaking, you end up regretting the harsh lines you've blurted out. At the height of an emotion, you tend to say exaggerated wonderful compliments, impossible promises or stern feedbacks. Before making any statement, pausing for some seconds to reflect can sieve your words. Taking deep breaths or counting from one to ten might also help.
Stretch your patience.
Verbal abuse is triggered with an act that does not please you. You get irritated with the act so easily that you yell nasty, hurtful and sarcastic things that put your spouse down. However, if you try to extend your patience and remember your partner deserves respect like any other person, you can prevent from verbally abusing her.
Marriage can still be fixed after a verbal abuse as long as you and your partner learn from the experience. Instilling in minds the cause and effects of the problem can be your guide to prevent it from happening again. If you acquire the willingness to put back the broken pieces, there will always be a room for reconciliation. The change may not happen right away as the healing process requires time. If you're about to give up, just remember that this tough journey ends up with a strengthened relationship.