You’re engulfed in it… You’re reeling in it… You can taste it… You feel it in every nerve of your body… It’s Romantic Chemistry! And It’s Hot!
So what is this thing called romantic chemistry, and how important is romantic chemistry to dating and later to marriage?
Some people feel this passion/chemistry is EVERYTHING. Without great passion, they reason, there is no relationship!
And to some degree they’re right.
LOVE is the GREATEST GIFT in the WORLD! But would you know it, REALLY know it without romantic chemistry?
Without passion and chemistry would your face light up at the mention of his name? Would you smile when he walked into the room? Without passion would your ears hear the music in his voice? Would you crave his touch? Without passion would you want to know him better and spend your life loving him?
There are two stages of experiencing relationship chemistry during dating.
1) Non-sexual initial chemistry that is the chemistry/ attraction you feel during early stages of dating. You meet, talk and determine whether there is enough interest in each other to move forward
2) Sexual chemistry that can occur as you transition into later stages of an established committed relationship.
You’re two people in love who can’t get enough of each other. When you’re together sparks fly and chemistry explodes between you for the entire world to see. It’s a ‘high’ all couples in love should experience.
But again, is chemistry everything?
Not by itself. Chemistry and Substance must work hand in hand. Let me explain.
Expecting to sustain intense, heightened passion between two people in everyday life together is UNREALISTIC. Passion can’t be sustained to that degree throughout an entire relationship. To think otherwise lands you in fantasy land.
Somewhere along the line passion settles at which time you determine whether enough substance has surfaced to take the relationship to the next level.
The next level moves couples to dig in and really get to know each other – deep down inside in multiple areas of life on an array of different subjects. Probing for compatibility, assessing how to handle differences, managing disagreements, etc. This requires effort and a LOT of HARD WORK!
So much effort is required that if relationship chemistry isn’t there, the couple won’t have the interest, vigor, or desire to work hard enough to cultivate their feelings into deep, stable love where the roots intertwine, firmly established. Secure. Safe. Solid.
Chemistry’s two-fold role then is to introduce this man to this woman to see if anything ‘clicks’ between them, and then the initial excitement coupled with substance moves the relationship progressively along into intimacy and marriage.
That’s how chemistry is supposed to work and if the love is real, together with passion, you have something to work through these issues with. And the two of you can, with maturity and reasoning ability watch your love and romantic chemistry grow into a smooth and easy thing as it mellows and blossoms into lifetime love.