A real key in a relationship to both be on the same footing, and to have the same goals for the relationship. The longer it is for when the relationships are when they are out of sync, the more likely it is for the relationship to become toxic and unsustainable, but what do you do when this happens? You have choices to make, and these can be difficult choices to make in this relationship.
You can choose to remain in status quo, and most likely suffer from this consequence. Like a rubber band we can be stretched for only so long. When you have to operate outside of your personal norms and standards you may the daily grind of the relationship to be more than you can handle. The relationship may have enough payoffs that it makes it OK for you to go on with the relationship. You may get enough return out of this relationship to make this endurable, then again you have an option to end the relationship at any time, or you can even opt to make choices in this relationship later.
You can also choose to end the relationship. This really depends on what you get back out of your partner. Do you get anything positive out of your partner? Do you receive kindness, nurturing, or anything else that makes you feel good? If the negative transactions outweigh the positive ones it may be time to move on. Think of positive transactions as deposits into a checking out, and the negative transactions as deductions in the account. If you are always in the red, chances are you aren’t happy with the relationship and it may be time to move on.
Finally you can choose to make changes in the relationship. You can tell your partner what you are and aren’t happy with in the relationship. You can tell them what you want and desire from the relationship. Keep in mind; you can not bluff when it comes to this. Tell them you want more connectedness, or more time together, or knowing where you stand with them. If they listen, and receive your comments well, and agree to work on these issues, these are good signs. If they do not listen to you, and tell you they aren’t going to change, it is time to move on.
Everyone deserves a relationship that is healthy, mutual and one that you receive positive emotions from the other person. Sometimes we are out of sync in our closeness, and this may be due to ignorance of the other person, a mismatch in timing, or a mismatch in person. You hold the responsibility in driving a relationship where you want it to go. You will receive the type of relationship that you allow to happen. If you are out of step with that other person, strive to place the both of you in the same step and direction. You absolutely deserve a relationship that is rewarding for you.