Did you know that women at a biological level are a attracted to strong charismatic men who have the characteristics of a good leader, a good husband and a good father? And ladies, did you know that men are genetically programmed to be leaders? That is the reason you need to wake up the leader in your husband to save the marriage.
How so? you are asking. It is 2012 and women have been emancipated for decades. Is there total equality in today's world? The answer is no.
• Not in the board room – How many leaders are women?
• Not in the wage structure – Do females in equal jobs to men earn the same pay? What is the percentage of women who have jobs in leadership roles?
• Not in society – What is the ratio of men to women in jobs which affect society or the community?
• Not in the home – Who is ultimately responsible for the housework, the child rearing, the family environment
• And probably not in relationships either.
I was brought up in an era where a man had to ask you out first, he had to set the ground rules of the relationship, and other than on leap year, he had to get down on his knees to ask you to marry him. My mother let me know in no uncertain terms that the man was the provider and leader in the marriage. A wife's main purpose was to look after her husband, have his dinner ready when he got home, raise the children.
Sadly, I was brought up in a family where my father passed when I was only three months old and and my only brother was killed when I was six .. So because of these circumstances, I was raised solely by women – my mother and three big sisters, so I never experienced this male leadership quality.
I, myself, assumed the leadership role at a very early age. I rebelled from what society thought was expected and became a very assertive leader, both in my career and in my relationships. Right from the start of my career I worked in management positions. And do you know what? Unfortunately my two marriages did not last and neither did my career.
There are many issues why my marriages ended in divorce, which I am not going to discuss here, but if I am truthful with myself I acknowledge that one of the major problems in both marriages was that neither of my husbands were leaders. I realise now that it is important to help your husband to save the marriage by waking up the leader in him.
And when I reflect on my chosen career, I understand now that my powerful leadership roles were a threat to my male counterparts. A number of men experience difficulty in accepting females as leaders and I came across this attitude many times in my career. Even in the work place men need to wake up the leader in themselves.
Post why? Well as I stated previously males are genetically programmed to be leaders. It goes back to the caveman days and involves the hunter instinct. The hunter mode is very strong in men when they first meet a new girlfriend. They show off their leadership skills – they ask you out; they pay for the meal; they open the door; they ask you to marry them.
And females are subconsciously attracted to these behaviours because they are driven by biological instincts – they fall heads over heals in love with this potential husband; this provider; this potential father of her children.
But for some unknown reason men loose that leadership drive. That is why you need to help your husband to save the marriage by waking up the leader in him.
The secret to saving the marriage lies in building attraction, not in solving problems. As a woman it is a fact that you are driven more by emotion that logic. Therefore if your partner communicates with you by always apologizing, discussing, compromising, grovelling or begging it is like water on a ducks back – it is ineffective and possibly will even take away from any attraction you hold for your husband.
So what do you have to do to wake up the man you fell in love with, to build attraction and to save the marriage? The answer starts with his leadership. Work on him to re-establish his leadership qualities. To revitalise the hunter instinct in him so that he once again becomes that amazing, compelling, dynamic, charismatic leader you were once attracted to. And then your biology will take care of the rest.
Your sex drive will be reactivated. You will fall passionately in love once more. Sound too good to be true? Believe it. With a little bit of research and know how you can get your man back, you can wake up the leader in him, you can save the marriage. I wish I had.