It can be incredibly devastating if you've made the decision to try and get back together with your ex, only to find that they are already dating someone else. This can make you very angry, very sad, or a combination of the two! It might even make you think that you have no chance of getting back together with them.
Nothing could be further from the truth!
Rebound Relationships are Doomed
The first thing you need to realize is that you have to find a way to get rid of that rebound relationship. That might seem harsh – or it might sound like exactly what you want to do. The important thing to remember is that 95% of all rebound relationships fall apart in the first few months. These relationships fail for a reason, and that's because your ex is likely trying to heal a broken heart rather than find the person they are truly meant to be with
Play it Cool
The first thing you need to do is play it cool. There is nothing worse than trying to start a fight with the new boyfriend or girlfriend. Do not confront that person or you'll just end up looking like a jerk. It might actually bring the two of them closer together since you will look crazy! It can be very difficult to hold yourself back, but it is also extremely necessary.
Now, if you happen to be in a position where they will be with their new boyfriend or girlfriend, do not bring a date yourself just to make him or her jealous. This often does not work to create jealousy, and again, you'll just drive them closer together.
You also have to make sure it does not look like you are actively trying to destroy their relationship. Once again, this'll make you look as crazy as a loon, and will not help you accomplish your goals. This needs to be done in a calculated way, that will ensure that your ex will be in your arms once again.
Wait it Out
While you are taking a proactive approach, the first step is to actually wait it out. Sooner or later you can expect this rebound relationship to end. This waiting time can be incredibly difficult, but it is also necessary. More often than not, your ex will realize that the other person was completely wrong for them.
This is the ideal scenario, but sometimes you'll find that the two of them seem to be getting along just fine. In that case, you'll have to take a different approach.
What to Do: Step by Step
This might sound like it is easier said than done. Just know that the statistics are on your side! Most of these relationships break up for a reason. What you need to do is very clear, and here it is in a step-by-step, easy to reference method.
- Take stock of who they are dating, casually and non-obviously
- Do not start a fight with that person or even confront that person
- Do not make it look like you're trying to destroy their relationship
- After an appropriate amount of time has passed, develop a friendship with your ex
- Become someone that they can depend on
- Casually showcase the strength of your relationship so your ex subconsciously remembers how good it was with you
- You can date other people, and casually make this known, which may cause some jealousy as a side effect
- Your hope is that they realize the person they're currently dating can not offer anything like what you had to offer (and what you have to offer!)