Getting dumped by your boyfriend is a difficult thing to go through. Some guys will let you down easy by asking to remain friends, but in reality they don’t mean it. Others however, actually want to keep in touch with you… and very often, you with them. Especially in the case of a long-term relationship, it’s not easy to just let go of someone you see and talk to on a daily basis. For this reason, friendship with an ex boyfriend may seem attractive to you.
The truth though, is that you’re eventually going to get hurt. Either your ex boyfriend will meet someone else, and break your heart… or you’ll meet someone else, and have to ditch the friendship for the sake of your new relationship. No boyfriend you begin seeing is going to understand when you tell him you still hang out and talk with your ex. Likewise, any new girl that your ex boyfriend dates is going to hate you on principal: after all, you’ve been intimate and close with her new man. Neither of these situations is appealing, and there’s no easy solution to them.
Now you may think being friends with your ex is a good way of getting back into a relationship with him, but you couldn’t be more wrong. The reverse is proven to be true: friendship provides your ex with just about everything he needs from a relationship with you, but without the burden of commitment. He has no incentive to date you again, because he’s already got the companionship. And as far as sex goes, your ex can get that elsewhere… or he can even try to initiate sexual contact with you again, especially if he knows you want him. Sleeping with your ex might be comforting for a while, but ultimately it doesn’t work in getting him back.
But wait, there’s some good news too. If your ex suggests staying friends after he ends things, there’s a very good chance he’s still not sure of the breakup. He wants to keep you close while he makes up his mind whether or not he wants to date you again. He might try a new relationship, or he might stay single for a while… but as long as you’re still friends with him he’s going to keep your breakup going strong. As long as you’re on the other end of that phone or keyboard, your ex boyfriend will feel comfortable enough to keep right on looking.
If your ex boyfriend wants to be friends with you, take advantage of it in order to get him back. Push him out of his comfort zone. Instead of agreeing to happily hang out with him on a platonic basis, let him know you don’t think it’s such a good idea. Pull away from him, and leave him alone for a while. This will make him miss you, and think about the relationship.
When you don’t contact your ex, he’ll start worrying that you are the one who’s moving on. And if he loves you, he’ll be extremely upset when that happens. This will lead him back to you, all because you refused his offer and broke contact.
Don’t settle for friendship when you really want your ex back. Too often it will lead to the post-breakup heartache and pain that you’re only delaying. By calling his bluff, you’ll find out whether he truly loves you or not. If he’s still got strong feelings for you, then you’ve got nothing to worry about.